Crazy some'd say...nyeh...

Okeh...I feel a bit stupid when I'm right now writing about how I've been feeling the last days about this, but I really need somebody to understand me!! I mean...has this ever happened to you?...This feeling that you need to be better than somebody, you HAVE to be better than somebody...I've got it right now...

I don't know why, I've seen an artist I want to beat...And i think I can do it. But why "beat" an artist that doesn't knows who I am and neither do I about that person?. Pride, maybe?, dunno, but I need to "defeat" that person...So that is the reason why I'm using software for my newest pieces and in the one that currently I am working in.

Really, don't ask me why I am feeling this way because I don't know...Maybe it is because my muse has come back after those terribly long holidays she took away from me somwhere in Waikiki for example...*shakes muse* and I feel the terrible need of drawing and painting all the damned day, but when I saw this person's gallery I felt more than motivated to get my tablet ready, scan a new sketch, colour it with OpenCanvas and Photoshop and then blow my digital pen's nib as it was a gun...

So people please...has anyone ever felt this way???Is this wrong???Am I crazy??Do I need cookies???


..::Arashi::..

So it is that damned day...February the 14th and everbody revolves the streets with stupid heart-shaped balloons and with flowers hanging over their noses too...Bleeeeh....Valentine's day...I always hated this day, don't ask me why...Maybe because it was always so disastrous that I don't even want to remember...

Well, today I received random roses and random postcards with some poetry written and stuff...Damn...I don't like those things, really...i prefer to be my boyfriend the one who really cares for me in Valentine's, but I'm ill with a stupid flu which has got my throat burning in hell and he's gone to La Palma on holidays for visiting his family and friends.

Not bad at all, I will have some free time for new pieces and for training myself with Photoshop. I've found some tutorials which are wuite interesting and I've been practisingfor a while, but right now I think I'll be off as I'm starting to feel again some fever and headache...Damn you Feb 14th...

Well, I hope you people are having a good day with your sweethearts by your side. I am not having it, but I suppose I'll be full with love when this damned week passes by and my lovely angel comes back with me.



..::Arashi::..

Wooooaaaaaah...I'm just allucinating because today, January the 6th I received my most beloved giftie (apart from my persian kitty). I have got, at last, A WACOM GRAPHIRE 4!!!!!
WHEEEEEE!!!!*hears the applauses*

Now I can finally add to my pictures all the power of the CG with the best technology ever creaed for digital artists...I am amazed!!! Even if I have to take a lot of practise with my tablet (it is so small and cute...I'll name it George) I'll try to do my best with it!!


Ooooh my Gooooood....


IT IS A WACOM!!!!!!!!!*faints*



Lucy...I...I've got...a Wacom...*dies*


..::Arashi::..

Haven't you ever felt sometimes like you don't have any supporting point neither in your family or closest friends? Like if no one takes you seriously...Well , that is what is happenning to me right now , and I feel like no one can give me anything important , and I don't intend to offend anyone of my friends or familiar , nor my boyfriend...It is just something I'd like to write so some people can read this and give me a bit of support if replying to this journal entry...

Well , sometimes I've been asking everyone if I do seem very childish with so much illusions inside of me and so many dreams that I wish to make come true one day , but it is always the same answer and I don't find this funny , it is always the same monotony in that "No , you don't seem childish" or whatever , but I do find myself stupid when talking to them about my projects or illussions , about my original characters or scenarios for my story...About any pictures I'm currently drawing or my next update in my gallery...It is like...yes , they hear me , but they do seem like "who cares , do whatever you want".

Sometimes I need a bit of support and maybe an spontaneous question like "hey , how is your latest work going on? any progress?" or maybe "how are you doing with your scripts? can I read them?" that should be nice , even if I don't ever let anyone read my scripts because when I re-read them I find them too...undone...and contentless because I just want to do so many things at a time that I disconcentrate without any reason!!...But I always think that I am the only one who has got an interest in a dream and the only one who is fighting for it , and yeah , I do realiuse that it is only you and yourself the one who can make your illussions and dreams come true , but if someone was a bit more caring about you , or if someone just wants to help you...then you feel much more comfortable and with much more strength because you have the feeling that people likes you and wants you , and cares for you not only as a friend , but as a "promise" too.

I'm not trying to intend anyone to ask me "how is your work going?" etc...No , I just want a bit of spontaneus love and care and some kind of strength to be given because I feel dismotivated and sad...And it is a big problem for an artist because this can end in an enormous and undesired block. But is it just me or that no one understands me??!!

SOMEONE HELP ME , I'M SO SAD!!!!

Token from *tigerzi's MySpace.


Name: Arashi , Nukita , DarkArashi , Moonflower , Nocturne , that thing...
Birthday: 20/05/88
Birthplace: ahm...a hospital?
Current Location: in front of my computer , somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.
Eye Color: dark brown...very common...
Hair Color: cinnamon
Height: 1m78
Right Handed or Left Handed: right handed...I love my right wrist
Your Heritage: O.o...
The Shoes You Wore Today: Converse AllStar sugar.
Your Weakness: self-trust , trust in other people.
Your Fears: SPIDERS!!!!!
Your Perfect Pizza: that REALLY doesn't exists...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: enter the university in the career I want to do...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: xD
Thoughts First Waking Up: why meee?
Your Best Physical Feature: euh...meh eyes and lips?
Your Bedtime: hahahahaha...
Your Most Missed Memory: I don't have any memory...O.o
Pepsi or Coke: Aquarius...really cold plz.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Natural Burguer xDDDDDDDDDDDD
Single or Group Dates: I don't mind.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea!!! (Peachy peachy peachy)
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate tablet with Lacasitos inside.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Swiss Cappuccino.
Do you Smoke: NO!!!!
Do you Swear: ahahahaha , wtf is this???
Do you Sing: Sometimes...
Do you Shower Daily: three times or two a day!!!!!!!!!!
Have you Been in Love: yeah
Do you want to go to College: yeah
Do you want to get Married: are you jokin'??¬¬
Do you belive in yourself: no
Do you get Motion Sickness: ...LOL?
Do you think you are Attractive: no
Are you a Health Freak: no but my mother is...even if she smokes , she is...
Do you get along with your Parents: sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms: YESH!!!!!
Do you play an Instrument: no , but I'd like to
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nyeh...I think I hadn't...this time...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: YESH!!!!
In the past month have you been on Stage: huh??O.o
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: huuuuh???O.o
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: NAH!!!!!!Ò.Ó Ah yeah...my bf's heart!!
Ever been Drunk: yes hiahiahiahia
Ever been called a Tease: Maybe...haha
Ever been Beaten up: Never ever!!!
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: Last night I dreamt about a gunshot...again...that's five times in a year...I'm scared...
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A really famous informatic and a well-known manga-ka.
What country would you most like to Visit: Right now , England ; in the future , Japan.

In a Boy/Girl...

Favourite Eye Color: I don't mind
Favourite Hair Color: I don't mind
Short or Long Hair: long ^.^
Height: huh???
Weight: HUUUH????
Best Clothing Style: a bit weird...but I like black everywhere!!!! ^^
Number of Drugs I have taken: none
Number of CDs I own: unknown
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: none but I want a monarch buttefly on my right shoulder
Number of things in my Past I Regret: letting you go...ó.ò



..::*::..

CLUBS I'M IN



..::Arashi::..